Monday, August 2, 2010

More Compromises

Since the revelation of not hating being in front of the computer all day, things started to change little by little. I felt more positive about moving on with my life. The intention was to be in Chicago for a couple months, then a couple more, and then I wanted to stay for my grandma's birthday and my dad's birthday. Dad's birthday being right around the corner meant that I was nearly free to live my life.

Oddly enough I grew too comfortable here. Despite the aggravations, my bed here is soooo comfortable. My bathroom is perfect and all mine. The walls aren't drafty and there isn't a bug infestation. Every kitchen appliance is here and is in perfect condition. I have all the comforts of home because, it's home. And I fell into a routine that is extraordinarily hard to give it up even when the need to escape is there.

It's possible that I am bad at adulthood. I was doing ok there for a while reminding myself that starting over is hard, but then I regressed. I need help to move forward.

My mother thinks that this help should be in the form of a man. One which can take the role of "professional" that I so desire so that I can just buy nice things instead. After several disgusting conversations/arguments with her she said that she was going to find me one. I yelled out, "Fine!!!" which was unfortunately taken as an honest answer.

A month ago my mother was getting her nails done at the salon and sat next to an Israeli woman speaking in Hebrew on her cell phone. When she finished the call my mom befriended her. The woman asked all about the family and when I was found out to be an unmarried 30 something she immediately gave my mom the number of a man she knows. I don't know how many people this happens to but my mother actually called this guy and interviewed him to find out if he was good enough for me. Without ever meeting him, she passed on his number to me insisting that I call.

I won't be badgered into this. I asked Mom what is wrong with her, but she said that I had agreed to be set up. I asked her how she could possibly take a rage filled answer seriously but she just shoved the guy's phone number at me. Then she put a post it on my door. Then she asked me every single day for a week if I called the guy. My response was to walk away. This is horrific to come home to, especially when things have changed at work and you need to focus on positivity.

And then after a particularly awful day at work, I was sitting in the kitchen with Dad discussing our plans for his birthday when she came in talking on her cell phone. Out of nowhere she handed me the phone and left the room. She told the guy when I would be home and to call her so she could get me to answer.

The guy was nice enough. I told him that I was supremely uncomfortable with this and that she has ideas in her head that I simply do not understand. Then I found out he talked to her extensively and learned things about my dating history. (thanks Mom!) That's when I knew for sure that there is something wrong with this guy. What is he doing talking to some one's crazy mother without even seeing these people in real life? He also was not a business owner or Kellogg student like Mom thought she would find me, but the guy that gets you in your car when you locked the keys inside.

He requested to take me out sometime just to meet even though I said I wasn't available. He seemed not to care or think it was a big deal to meet up at a cafe and have a chat and didn't easily drop it. He suggested a kosher place in Roger's Park that has excellent food. A kosher place?

"Do you keep kosher?"

"Yes, I am Orthodox. Didn't your mom tell you?"

"Oh wow. You know I'm not at all like that."

"I know your mother told me she didn't raise you like this. It's ok. I've dated a lot of women that are not observant. You can eat whatever you want but for me, it's kosher."

"Sure, well I always thought what kind of a god doesn't allow you to eat scallops? (he didn't laugh) So.... why would you want to go out with someone that isn't religious?"

"It's ok just to date. If it's long term then some changes would have to be made."

Aha. I ended the conversation slightly rattled and didn't speak to Mom about it again. She asked over and over if I was going to meet him but I never responded.

"You should meeeet him. You never know."

"Aren't you going to meet him?

"I would have at least had a coffee with the guy."

"It's an opportunity. Just meeet him!!!"

Dad's birthday couldn't come soon enough.


  1. That's sitcom

  2. Oh babe. It gets way better. I'm just building.

  3. I read this and all I could say was "wow" and "um". Holy crap.