Today marks the one year anniversary of writing this blog. It's obvious that the road was a misleading one that proceeded forward. I am proud to finally have a body of work out there in the world, even though when reading the old ones I see a million spelling and grammatical errors. Yes I know there their and they're, as well as then and than. So it goes.
Tomorrow my grandma has surgery. It's relatively minor but she has not slept a wink in at least a week now. My mother has also suffered bouts of extreme anxiety regarding the decision to go through with it, because maybe they should have tried something else first? But here we are and the decision was made a while ago. Thoughts of having to give her ailing mother shots in the legs to prevent blood clots is driving her mad. Potato chips are being eaten by the thousands. The kitchen is clouded with cigarette smoke and somehow both the pantry and refrigerator are empty. (a near impossibility in this house)
Instead of cooking something to celebrate my first year of writing these musings, I went to a diner with Grandma and my uncle. She needed to get out of the house and keep her mind occupied with other things. Of course those other things turned out to be me and they wanted to know why I hadn't studied pharmaceutical science but what can you do. This is what Xanax is for.
We were running out of things to talk about after covering my work, how I felt about my work, what I could be doing instead of my work and so on. I humored them, but eventually turned the subject to that which is always my savior in this family: food. With Passover coming up there is a dish that I would like to make for real and not just write about it: gefilte fish. I wouldn't say that it is something I like to eat, but it was definitely something that Grandma likes to eat and she hasn't made it since I was little.
The feesh in Shikago is disgust. Ve no get good feesh here like ve use to. I no make gefilte in long time. I no make grilled whitefeesh. I no make noting feesh.
We could try Whole Foods.
Expensive. And they no organic shmorganic anyvay. They liars. Debils. Just vanna your money. I never shop there. I buy apples 88 cents at the Costco. Very goood. You know how much Whole Food vanna for apples? My god.
I want to try and learn how to make gefilte though. There must be somewhere that I can order fish from once. We could try it.
Maybe. Ve use get whitefeesh from Minnesota and now we get frozen from Indoneejia. What is that? Minnesota is neighbor. You know where Minnesota feesh go? They go Sveden and to Evrope.
Really? Where did you hear that?
I vatch. Food Network.
There must be somewhere that we can order good fish Grandma. Do you want me to order something from the Pike Market?
No! You crazy talking. All that money and you no know vhat you get. I have to see feesh. I need it a whole one. Ve skin ourselves.
Vhat is gross? You gross.
What kind of fish goes into the gefilte anyway?
Whitefeesh, Nordern Pike, and another I no know how say in English. But you can make it just two. Is not vorth it. Von't taste right anymore.
But Grandma, we have fancy restaurants all over this city, they must get their fish from a good source. Those type of fish have got to come from the Great Lakes.
You kidding me? No one know vhat they serving us. Is frozen poison.
This is an interesting problem we've run into. I would like to learn how to make stuff that is in her brain but she is convinced that we don't have the means to make it. In addition, I wanted to make her something special after she goes through yet another awful ordeal but I don't know how. It would be amazing if I could sweep her away to Greece where I know there is incredibly fish of every variety. I'd like to take her back in time to Lithuania before her sister died and watch their hands work on dough together. I'd like her to have hot peppers on an Italian beef sandwich without worrying about the ulcer. I'd like more than anything to find a way for her to sleep better at night. Lunch at a diner will somehow have to do.