Last Weekend

I leave the bar and walk down the street to the subway into the stairway and touch my card to the reader and notice the rails next to the stairs are blue but I don't want blue I want red but proceed down anyway and no really it's the blue line how the hell did I do this shit so I go back up into the world and sure enough it's Dearborn and not State so I walk one block East and wonder who gets lost in a square then go down to the right subway and spend another $.25 just because I am stupid this evening and I wait and then red comes and it's a long way to Howard so lucky the ipod is charged and the train is packed and I don't notice the time until I am at Howard waiting for the purple and realize it's almost midnight and I have to get home somehow and it's way too late to walk alone so I have to get a cab and I don't have any cash left damnit am I really turning 31 Sunday and then it's Saturday morning and I woke up as my yoga class was starting and then my parents inform me that the dinner reservations were for tonight and not Sunday so I have to cancel the group outing I planned for The Tasting Room in the west loop ok I'll go there another day so I eat French food which I am not all that familiar with and am confused by the so called "lobster" that was supposed to be somewhere on the plate but really was charred and chopped into tiny tiny bits and unrecognizable with the pasta and small dollop of cream sauce in the corner of the plate it's not bad enough to turn away but it's not good and my parents offer me wine but amazingly I don't drink any because I don't want to make it all too expensive I suggested that we all share a dessert but we couldn't agree on one so we tried a few and they were ok too sweet although I do love poached pears above cake and pastry and decided to make some myself and then it got too late in the day for visiting Grandma and I worry that she is mad that I haven't seen her much in the last two weeks because I've been down and I have a hard time hiding it in front of her so I see her on Sunday and she doesn't say Happy Birthday instead she asked me if she did something to make me angry and she grills me for not spending enough time with her but I wanted to have lunch with her today and she blew me off for grocery shopping but I didn't know so I cancelled meeting my friend for lunch and I was upset but she was too and we didn't resolve it but tried to have conversation anyway and she is frightened about her upcoming surgery and she wanted to ask me about why I am angry at my office but I don't want to talk about it right before I left she says ok so Happy Birthday and hands me a card and I cry when I leave the house because I just can't make everyone happy I just can't so I go to an Oscar party at a friend's house and I relax and joke around and I thank goodness for my friends.