I'm squeamish. I would like it if I wasn't squeamish but I am. I don't deal well with blood and heart monitors and tubing and people wearing scrubs.
I didn't sleep at all last night and so I drank coffee so that I could be on top of things when he got out of surgery. Wow I am an idiot sometimes, really. Instead of being alert and focused I became jittery and freaked out. I couldn't even read the article in National Geographic that interested me. I wanted to pace or strike up a conversation with someone else waiting in the room. The receptionist humored me a bit but she had to answer calls and I was left to my own worries. They had some gorgeous fish in a saltwater tank so I watched them intensely.
When he was in recovery I had to keep him awake. It would be funny for some people due to the eyes continuing to roll back into the head and the groggy incomprehensible responses, but I was so nervous that I ended up talking to him about food. That was brilliant. It was noon, he hadn't eaten a thing and we didn't prepare properly for this and had nothing ready at his place. I was freaked out. I kept saying "Eyes on me!" every time he drifted off and it really scared me because it was what my 6th grade math teacher used to say to control the class. She was awful. I managed to have some brain cells left as I did promise that we will watch basketball and Batman later. A smile.
The nurse explained that I had to change the gauze, pick up the pain prescription, feed him something cold, give him medicine, and make sure he sleeps. Oh and don't forget the icepack. We didn't have ice packs and we didn't make the jello yet. Oh and the gauze can't be removed until it's full and he needs to gargle with salt water tomorrow. Sure!
A cab was called for us and the cab driver was annoyed because supposedly he had been waiting downstairs for a long time. When I told him how short of a ride we were going to have he rolled his eyes and was very annoyed. What an asshole. A man gets pushed towards a cab in a wheelchair and is helped inside and he is angry because we have a short ride. You know what? I'm an asshole too because I over-tipped him just to make him feel bad for being rude to me. Ha ha.
M was angry that we took a cab and felt it was totally unnecessary. He felt that we should have walked and that he was a little wobbly but he could have done it. I explained to him that we had to take a cab because if he fell I wasn't going to be able to pick him up. Men.
He grabbed his keys from me and I watched his inability to walk a straight line just to the door of his apartment with slight amusement.
Still now that he was finally home and on the couch I needed to get drugs and food for him. Wait a second, do I take the gauze out now? No I would wait until I had food for him. I should be back in 20 minutes.
Nope. It was more like an hour. Maybe longer. The pharmacy took forever and then I realized just how many groceries he needed. He might be out of it for a couple days. My heart was beating unusually fast as I scrambled to get all of this done. I picked up ice cream, sorbet, cottage cheese, soup, pasta, yogurt, apple sauce, pudding and a bunch of stuff for me in case I am over here being nurse for a couple days.
I was gone too long. When I got in there was blood on his face and in the sink. He was starting to feel pain and feel nauseous. The gauze should have come out much sooner. I had to take it out and give him pudding right away. It wasn't easy. Blood makes me very very very very nervous.
Gauze and then blood and then clean up and then pudding and apple sauce no wait he needs water and the pills and wait maybe it was too early for pills but he said it was hurting and he was hungry but nauseous does he have any paper towels he couldn't stand up by himself I was having a gmail chat but the typing woke him up i needed to be quiet but I should call my mom because she would calm me down and tell me what a wonderful person I am he was cold and needed a blanket but i thought it was hot in here and eew i can see the bandage where the IV was and he told me not to wig out but I'm good at taking care of people aren't I did I forget to buy fruit wait he doesn't have a blender who doesn't have a blender ok ok ok dishes I need to do the dishes the pain killer wasn't working so I called the dentist surgeon guy and he said that for a guy that size he should have taken 2 pills at a time instead of just one well why didn't he put that on the fucking prescription fucking asshole all of a sudden peace and sleep.
I ate a gigantic bowl of ice cream and managed to take a nap. Enter enormous stomach ache #2.