Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The eyeballs are pulling away from my head and the knives behind them are jabbing and everything is blurry and there is now trouble with eating. I watch someone do nothing all the time and wonder what happened. Expecting the world of me but when I leave in the kitchen when I get home in the kitchen on my days off in the kitchen. I try to explain and head is bitten off and have decided not to bottle and say things but it may be motivated by headaches and general shock. Don't bottle anyway. They are angry that it bothers me and I am let down. Watching faces light up today because of giving customers an item they want under bullet proof glass. Want such a feeling of relief and momentarily find it. Losing battle. Listening to one yell at me in Spanish and I pretend that I don't understand her and answer back in English and she pretends not to understand me but she does. Cold towel on my eyeballs for an hour and a precious lie down. Tried to draw this tried to clean tried to cook chicken in wine but not hungry. Don't know how daring I feel in baking anymore. Computer screen making the eyeballs tear. Tulips on my dresser and a yellow skirt tomorrow to battle this weather.